![]() ![]() How does all this relate to the phenomenon of the epic, half-decade engagements? You can definitely run into unique challenges if you have an engagement that stretches many years. Is that evidence of people waiting too long? There is that weird phenomenon of long-standing relationships falling apart after making it legal. I suppose these fears aren't completely unjustified. Projections! I had strange conversations that revealed a lot about people's fears of marriage: “Yeah, who needs to get married? You'll just stop having sex and bicker all the time! If it ain't broke, don't fix it!” Yikes. ![]() I even had some friends assume we weren't married yet because we hated the idea of marriage - you know, like they did. Or they assume you're not interested in marriage at all. I've seen this with other long-term unmarried het couples, too: People start to assume maybe you're using your relationship to protest marriage inequality. At that four year point, it felt like people started assuming if we hadn't gotten married yet, it was because we didn't want to - not just that we hadn't gotten around to it. Wait, did I just say we waited too long to get married? Is that even possible? ![]() We'd already survived several rounds of unemployment, interstate moves, college graduations, and holidays spent with each other's families.Īt a certain point (maybe around four years in?), the questions from friends and family shifted from, “So, are you two getting married?” to “Why bother? If it ain't broke, don't fix it.” That was the point at which I realized maybe we'd waited a little tooooo long. Thanks to Philly's Allebach Photography for submitting this to the Offbeat Bride Flickr poolĪndreas and I were together for over six years before we got married, and living together for five of those. ![]()
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